he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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