Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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