He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
