he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
