You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
