I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
