We won't sleep together?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
