check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
