Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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