Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
