1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
