There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
