If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
