Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Crop dusting thru forever 21
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
