Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
