Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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