So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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