Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
