honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Boobs speak an international language.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
