so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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