I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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