I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
