I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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