she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
