I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
