i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
