Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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