it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize