So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
