You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
