I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
