Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
