You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
