I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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