Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
