Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
