3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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