Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
