Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That accounts for only three of the penises
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
