I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
