Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
