so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
