i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
