wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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