Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
