He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
