Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
