her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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