This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
