Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
