im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
