I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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