I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
barbara walters just said penis...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
