I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
